How to have a balanced and healthy relationship

Healthy relationships bring out the best in you and make you feel good about yourself. A healthy relationship doesn't mean a “perfect” relationship and no one is healthy 100% of the time, but the signs below are behaviors you should look for in all your relationships.

Looking within and understanding our emotions, including those that bother us, is the first step to cultivating balanced relationships with lightness and being at peace with ourselves and each other.

It may seem silly, but we have grown up being influenced by current music, stories, movies and television series that convey unrealistic ideals about the molds of an affectionate relationship. This idea that this person who represents our “soul mate” completes us and no one else will be able to take his place if the bond is broken. So, what ends up happening is that the person does everything to keep this partner by his side. And, instead of balanced and healthy affective relationships, harmful relationships arise where emotional dependence reaches extreme limits.

In this type of relationship, the partner's well-being is paramount. Jealousy ends up being stimulated and also leaving friends and family just to spend more time and exclusively with the loved one. These harmful dependency relationships only create discomfort in all areas of daily life. For this reason, it is very important to replace these beliefs of romantic love with more realistic ones.

Understanding that we live in cycles and that this also implies different changes within us and within the other helps our understanding that nothing is permanent. For this reason, we are free to change, choose new paths, direct our hearts, open ourselves to the new, find and share ideas that bring harmony and more balanced relationships. Here are some characteristics and behaviors of a healthy relationship.

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

Have you ever heard the expression “like attracts like”? This is the law of attraction—the idea that we attract the things we focus on and surround ourselves with—and it applies to relationships and life. If you embrace positive thinking, live passionately, and are kind and accepting of yourself and others, you will attract people who do the same.

Learning to love yourself isn't always easy. You will need to identify and overcome your limiting beliefs and rewrite your story to give you strength and confidence.

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS

You must maintain high standards if you want a healthy relationship. If your expectations are low and you're not striving to grow with your partner, the result will be a stale and deteriorating relationship. What do you really want from your relationship? What are the patterns you would follow for your dream partner? What do you expect from your partner, physically and emotionally? Whatever it is, that's the barrier you must keep to yourself too. You are an active participant in this relationship; the way you want them to appear to you is the way you should manifest to them.

CONFORTABLE SPEED

The relationship develops at a speed that seems pleasant to each person. It's okay to want to spend a lot of time with someone when you meet them, but it's important that you both be in tune with how the relationship is moving. In a healthy relationship, you are not pressured in a way that makes you feel overwhelmed.

HONESTY

You can be honest without fearing the other person's reaction. In a healthy relationship, you should feel that you can share the whole truth about your life and feelings with each other - you will never have to hide things. They may not like what you have to say, but they will respond to disappointing news with consideration.

INDEPENDENCY

You have room to be yourself outside of the relationship. The other person should support your hobbies and relationships with other friends, family and co-workers. The other person doesn't need to know or be involved in every part of your life. Having independence means being free to do yourself and giving your partner that same freedom.

RESPECT

You value each other's beliefs and opinions and love each other for who you are as a person. You are comfortable setting boundaries and are confident the other person will respect those boundaries. They root for you when you accomplish something, support your work and dreams.

TAKE RESPONSABILITY

Take on your actions and words. You avoid placing blame and are able to admit when you make a mistake. You genuinely apologize when you do something wrong and continually try to make positive changes to improve the relationship. You can be responsible for the impact your words or behavior had, even if it wasn't your intention.